Captain Blofeld's Blogging Almanac

Cap'n BadBack Blowers perches in his Crow's Nest.
His weathered eye always open.
With cutlass, spyglass and pirate headband, he is on constant watch.
Alert, scanning the Holy See for Buccaneer Dodo and his mateys.

Cap'n BadBack Blowers sounds the alarm

  Fowl play? 
Fowl play!

The game is afoot, dear communicants. 
*chuckles*

Captain Uncle Brian did Parlay

"In answer to your first query, I wasn't consciously quoting, or even alluding to, any other source." 

Was I Bilge-sucking or are ye three sheets to the wind?

"Why do you ask? "

Was the captain 'Hornswaggling'

"Am I missing your point?" 

Blimey!

"And in answer to your second, 

I was born and brought up in the C of E but am now, 

and have been for nearly twenty years, an "RC" "

I be not in possession of 'Letters of Marque'

"But my views on denominations are not divisive, quite the opposite." 

Savvy? Your Grace

"I tend to see the churches as one Church. 

Wherever two or three, and all that." 

We all being in possession of pieces of eight

"Some people swim the Tiber, 

others cross Lambeth Bridge, 

and there are even some who go canoeing in Lake Geneva."

All hands Ahoy and Batten down the hatches!

"But we are all brothers and sisters in Christ."

Blow me down! It be a veritable blood brotherhood

Your Grace said

"Your IP address was not available"
Perhaps the fellow is withholding it 
so he can download the directors cut of Mel Gibson's 
The Passion of Christ from the pirate bay, 
without getting annoying letters from those chaps at the anti-piracy group FACT..Arrrr

"this blog is assaulted daily by a nuisance"

 There be a plentiful bounty on his head for those that spot the blog buccaneer!

"who creates multiple identities" 

He be scalawag and a master of disguise like Commodore Clouseau

 but his parrot leaves feathers all over His Grace's blog

"and trolls every thread" 

deserving of the cat o nine tails and a short walk on the plank

"constantly banging on about the deficiencies of the Church of England 

and the perfection of the Church of Rome." 

He refuses to belay and He be in the employ of His treacherous 

Eminence Cardinal Richelieu and seductively assisted by his Scrumpet, Lady Cressida de Winter

"Each new incarnation is being summarily deleted, 

which is tiresome."

His Grace be sick of sending him to Fiddlers Green..

Next time he be made to dance the hempen jig, 

Keelhauled and a killick attached to his nether regions for good measure...

He not be survivin' this. 

There be no Sweet trade for those plying their trade on this ship.

.AAARGGGHHHH. 
Yo-ho-ho

Dodo the Pirate observed

"That be a dangerous pirate, that Dodo.
Keelhauled he were, by Admiral Cranmer and his motley crew.
Only man I ever knew that were keelhauled, and lived."..

*chuckles*